Who's the Daddy?

I am!!! We have our baby!!! He was born at 3:01pm on Friday, September 10th 2010. Five days past his due date!

I have been meaning to write about all this for a while, but just haven't had the time to do so, as it turns out being a new Daddy is pretty hectic! So here's a quick update...

Labour lasted almost 36 hours, and was pretty awful. HW woke me up at about 5am on Thursday 9th, to say that she felt like she was having contractions. I called in to work to let them know I wouldn't be coming in. Then we spent the day in as normal a fashion as possible; going for a walk, going to the supermarket, etc. We also watched the opening game of the NFL season, and then at around 9pm HW felt like the contractions were becoming even more intense and frequent, so we called our doula, and she came over, to talk us through it all and help us stay calm.

At about 11pm we finally decided to head to the hospital. Got there, and they split us all up and made HW fill in a load of paperwork and do a blood test and a urine test, etc. Basically they stressed us all out, which totally ruined the relaxation we had been working on all day, and delayed the contractions all over again. We spent an hour or so in Triage, and were then sent down to Labour; where we were pretty much ignored, and had the least helpful nurse in the world.

Contractions continued and became even more painful, till around 6am. At this point we hadn't slept in 25 hours, and were losing our minds. So HW opted for the epidural. Our doula was sent out of the room again, and I had to sit and watch HW crying in pain, as an incompetent doctor injected her in the spine not just once or twice but SIX times, trying to find the right spot. Finally the epidural worked, and we then got a couple of hours sleep.

We woke up around 8am and carried on, contractions getting closer together again. By noon HW was pretty much fully dilated, and ready to push. But then suddenly the OB was nowhere to be found, and they told us to wait. So once again we lost momentum, and were frustrated and upset, to say the least. Finally the OB returned, and at about 1pm we started trying to deliver the baby. After much pushing and screaming and crying, he was born at exactly 3:01pm.

An incredibly stressful and exhausting experience, but most importantly we got the result we wanted: a perfectly healthy baby boy. And no C-section.

He was 9lbs 7ozs at birth, in perfect health, and with a full head of hair!

We spent the next couple of days recovering in the postpartum ward, and the aftercare was fantastic. No complaints there. We finally checked out of the hospital and went home on Sunday, September 12th.

Since then we have just been readjusting to home life, and falling madly in love with our little boy. I'm sure all parents think that their baby is perfect, and we are no exception. The nurses at the hospital all seemed very enamored with him too; and all commented on his cuteness and hair. He also seems to have a lot of admirers when we go out in public - random people stop us to comment on how adorable he is, or how sweet he looks. The other day we were in CVS (the American version of Boots) and one old lady practically started crying because she enjoys knitting things for babies but didn't have anything with her to give us at the time. It has got to the stage where we now cover his babyseat up with a blanket if we're going out in public, just to avoid the constant stream of admirers! It's a bit like going out with a celeb!

HW's Mum and sister visited us last week, which gave us some time to catch up with The Real World. We got to go to a concert and spend a couple of hours away from BB, which was probably healthy. We also got to take BB out of the house a few times; on his first trip to a restaurant, the beach, the park, etc.

So, yes, we have our baby boy, and we are incredibly happy and proud of him. I have occasional moments of The Fear, and total "Ohmygodwhathavewedone" anxiety, but 99% of the time I am just overcome by how amazing he is. He clearly doesn't realize he's a newborn, either, as he's already lifting his head and trying to roll around and crawl, and grabbing on to things. He eats and poos and wees like a trooper, too; I've gone from amateur to semi-pro ranking in the diaper-changing stakes in just two weeks. Maybe I'll try out for pro status in just a couple more months.  And BB sleeps pretty well through the night too, for three or four hours at a time! At first he didn't like being put down in his crib, and would only sleep in arms, but over the past few nights he's got used to it, and now he loves to be in there. We seriously feel like we've won the baby lottery, as everything so far has been really easy and straightforward, and we haven't encountered any problems. One thing I'll say about that is that, throughout the pregnancy, HW was really careful with her diet; she ate lots of fruit and vegetables, and made sure to take her pre-natal vitamins every single day (go for the ones with folic acid), and stayed away from smokers, or alcohol. Did those factors contribute to the fact that we have a healthy, happy baby? Who knows. But why not play it safe anyway, just in case?

Anyhow, everything is great. Being a Daddy is awesome!

List of the Essentials

Today HW and I finally made it to the movies, to see Toy Story 3 (highly recommended). I noticed during the movie that HW seemed very uncomfortable at times, and was gripping her belly and taking deep breaths; as though she might be having initial contractions! It turned out this wasn't the case, but I was reminded that our due date is just two weeks away, and we haven't even packed for the hospital yet! So I'm going to do that this weekend, and I just remembered we already have a list of everything we'll need. A friend of mine in England just had a baby boy a couple of months ago, so I thought I'd ask her if she had any last minute advice for HW and she was kind enough to send me us some GREAT information and a load of lists, so I thought I'd share those all here, as they were so useful:

For the Hospital Bag:

• T-shirt/nightie for labour
• Dressing Gown
• Slippers
• Socks
• Camera and/or videocamera
• Hairband (invaluable)
• Comfortable shoes
• Evian face spray (or a cheaper cooling spray)
• Arnica (used for bruising, I had some on my arms from various injections/blood taking etc)
• Dextro energy tablets
• Boiled sweets (gas and air can taste funny)
• Soothing music to listen to
• Disposable pants
• Big knickers/panties
• Maternity sanitary pads (need a LOT of these, at least 6 or 7)
• Sanitary bags
• Breast pads
• Nursing bras
• Front opening nightie (if breast-feeding)
• Toiletries
• Toothbrush and toothpaste
• Tissues
• Lip Balm
• Tea Tree oil & empty 50cl water bottle - fill with luke warm water whenever you go to the loo and drop in a couple of drops of the tea tree oil then pour over your "bits" as you pee or just after
• Lansinoh Lanolin cream
• DARK towels (eg. 1 hand towel and 1 bath towel)
• Comfy clothes to go home in
• Make up if you're worried about looking good!
• Money for phone card, newspaper etc….
• No brainer book/magazine if you are waiting for things to happen.
• Phone with charger

Labour Tips:

-In terms of breathing, you need to say 'breathe with me' and breathe obviously and a little more slowly than normal. There are also massages you can find online that will help. I didn't do any particular breathing exercises. There are also CDs you can use that are meditative, envisioning your child and breathing more deeply. I can't make any recommendations on that front as I didn't use. The only thing I will say is you will be surprised how long it all takes and something to amuse you both between contractions can be a good idea - cards, a book, something to take your mind off it! Although my contractions were too close to one another for most of the process for me to do much!

For baby at the hospital:

• Towel
• Nappies / Diapers (pack quite a few)
• Cotton wool – hospitals frown on wet-wipes
• Couple of muslin clothes
• 5x vest bodysuits
• 5x sleepsuits
• Hat
• Scratch mitts
• Blanket/shawl
• Teddy bear!
• Have going home outfit (probably just another babygro, and coat ready for hubbie to bring in)
• Booties (If wearing an outfit)
• If you plan to bottle feed I think you have to provide bottles and formula.
• Also make sure car-seat is already fully fitted, ready to take baby home!

For baby at home:

• Mattress
• Mobile
• Changing mat and cheap towels to keep bottoms warm!
• Night-light
• Curtains with blackout lining or Blackout blind (something we may invest in in the near future)
• Baby monitor
• Bouncy chair
• Room thermometer
• Grobags (baby sleeping bags), invaluable in the heat. Also, stop baby kicking blankets off.
• Moses basket and bedding (4 flat sheets and a couple of top sheets and coverlet)
• Couple of toys! (we recommend Baby Einstein Take Along Tunes)
• Pram/pushchair
• Sun parasol
• Raincover (probably not necessary in San Diego)
• Car seat
• Sunscreens for car
• Baby carrier
• Changing bag
• Breast pads
• Steriliser ( needed for pump/bottles for expressed milk and dummies)
• Bottle brush
• Bottle and teats
• Breast pump
• Formula (have a couple of ready made cartons even if you plan to breastfeed)
• Muslins
• Bibs (if bottle feeding, plastic backed ones recommended to stop the milk soaking through to clothes)
• Infacol drops (for bringing up wind, they’re fine from birth and can be very useful)
• Baby wipes (Huggies Pure are very good)
• Baby shampoo
• Body wash
• Cotton wool pads
• Sudocrem
• Nappies
• Nappy sacks
• Nail clippers/scissors
• Bath thermometer
• Bath sponge
• Wash cloth
• Bath support
• Baby bath
• Brush and comb
• Bath towels
• Bodysuits
• Sleepsuits (go for ones with poppers and ones don't involve putting it over the head)
• Cardigan
• Socks
• Scratch mitts (many sleepsuits have in-built ones)
• Shawl/blanket
• Little rocker chair and activity mat also really useful.

Recommended books:

1. "Your Baby Week by Week" by Simone Cave, pretty much as it says on the tin. Obviously a bit UK-centric, talking about Child Benefit etc but also tells you stuff like how many nappies to expect per day. Nice little bitesize chunks per week.
2. "Baby's First Skills" by Dr Miriam Stoppard, activities you can do with baby to develop them based on their age.
3. The What To Expect website is also a fantastic resource, with a great online community, daily email service, and messageboard!

Diaper Tips:

-They are able to aim with surprising accuracy and will often pee as soon as you take off the nappy. Another bit of advice is to undo the tape, allow air to circulate and put lay nappy back on top for thirty secs to prevent that. Clothing with poppers at the crotch is easiest!

Additional Advice:

-Throwing up is a 'good' sign and entirely normal during the birth.
-Try putting the car seat in the car a few times before baby is born. Also, practise collapsing and putting up the buggy/pram.
-Also, you'll be surprised by how quickly they grow, don't go overboard with first sizes (newborn), they are only in them for a couple of weeks and some babies are too big straight away. Some babies from our group are already into 3-6 months, although they are between the ages of seven weeks and three months. You'll probably be gifted a lot in those sizes, I wish we hadn't bought more than a couple.
-The pushing phase of labour feels very much like you really need a poo. You may evacuate your bowels but that feeling is more about baby
-Birth plans are useful to go through what you would like (or not like) to happen, but very few people I know follow it to the letter
-Gas and air don't work for everyone; be prepared to be forceful enough to ask for next level of painkiller if necessary, before its too late!
-Newborn must be woken every two to three hours for a feed (and that's start to start of feed, so if baby starts feed at 2am, the next begins around 5am, regardless of how long the feed takes) Our baby slept through on our first night at home which I thought was good; turns out that in fact he was being lazy, not waking for a feed. He lost a lot of weight and was quite dehydrated. I thunk that phase passes after the first fortnight and they can go six hours overnight
-Most babies do lose a little bit of weight after they are born.
-If you are breastfeeding, I found the first three weeks really hard work, whether because it hurt or because baby wanted to feed what felt like all the time. It got infinitely easier after that and now it is so much more convenient.
-Always pack a spare pack of clothing in the baby's changing bag. They are going to poop/spew/have a leaky nappy if you don't!
-Have a support network. try to find other mums who have babies at the same sort of time, ie within a month or so of you. It helps to have other people you can benchmark against.
-That first two weeks was pretty nightmarish, baby didn't want to sleep in his Moses basket, would only sleep on me and didn't go to sleep much at night. IT DOES GET BETTER!! Persisting with a bedtime routine has helped, and not engaging with him for night feeds.
-Babies smell amazing when they come out!
-Prepare your meals the night before, or in the morning or when you get a chance, particularly if you are breastfeeding. You will end up being stuck on the couch for long stretches.
-Finally, sort of counter to all this advice, listen to what everyone has to say, smile and nod and then go your own way! You'll get so much conflicting advice, particularly around feeding which seems to be an area of contention and you'll know what works for your baby.
-All in all, make the most of all of the different things that happen, I know it's a cliche but it really does race by and baby will change so quickly! I can't believe how much I adore him

Right, I'd better go and pack that hospital bag!