List of the Essentials

Today HW and I finally made it to the movies, to see Toy Story 3 (highly recommended). I noticed during the movie that HW seemed very uncomfortable at times, and was gripping her belly and taking deep breaths; as though she might be having initial contractions! It turned out this wasn't the case, but I was reminded that our due date is just two weeks away, and we haven't even packed for the hospital yet! So I'm going to do that this weekend, and I just remembered we already have a list of everything we'll need. A friend of mine in England just had a baby boy a couple of months ago, so I thought I'd ask her if she had any last minute advice for HW and she was kind enough to send me us some GREAT information and a load of lists, so I thought I'd share those all here, as they were so useful:

For the Hospital Bag:

• T-shirt/nightie for labour
• Dressing Gown
• Slippers
• Socks
• Camera and/or videocamera
• Hairband (invaluable)
• Comfortable shoes
• Evian face spray (or a cheaper cooling spray)
• Arnica (used for bruising, I had some on my arms from various injections/blood taking etc)
• Dextro energy tablets
• Boiled sweets (gas and air can taste funny)
• Soothing music to listen to
• Disposable pants
• Big knickers/panties
• Maternity sanitary pads (need a LOT of these, at least 6 or 7)
• Sanitary bags
• Breast pads
• Nursing bras
• Front opening nightie (if breast-feeding)
• Toiletries
• Toothbrush and toothpaste
• Tissues
• Lip Balm
• Tea Tree oil & empty 50cl water bottle - fill with luke warm water whenever you go to the loo and drop in a couple of drops of the tea tree oil then pour over your "bits" as you pee or just after
• Lansinoh Lanolin cream
• DARK towels (eg. 1 hand towel and 1 bath towel)
• Comfy clothes to go home in
• Make up if you're worried about looking good!
• Money for phone card, newspaper etc….
• No brainer book/magazine if you are waiting for things to happen.
• Phone with charger

Labour Tips:

-In terms of breathing, you need to say 'breathe with me' and breathe obviously and a little more slowly than normal. There are also massages you can find online that will help. I didn't do any particular breathing exercises. There are also CDs you can use that are meditative, envisioning your child and breathing more deeply. I can't make any recommendations on that front as I didn't use. The only thing I will say is you will be surprised how long it all takes and something to amuse you both between contractions can be a good idea - cards, a book, something to take your mind off it! Although my contractions were too close to one another for most of the process for me to do much!

For baby at the hospital:

• Towel
• Nappies / Diapers (pack quite a few)
• Cotton wool – hospitals frown on wet-wipes
• Couple of muslin clothes
• 5x vest bodysuits
• 5x sleepsuits
• Hat
• Scratch mitts
• Blanket/shawl
• Teddy bear!
• Have going home outfit (probably just another babygro, and coat ready for hubbie to bring in)
• Booties (If wearing an outfit)
• If you plan to bottle feed I think you have to provide bottles and formula.
• Also make sure car-seat is already fully fitted, ready to take baby home!

For baby at home:

• Mattress
• Mobile
• Changing mat and cheap towels to keep bottoms warm!
• Night-light
• Curtains with blackout lining or Blackout blind (something we may invest in in the near future)
• Baby monitor
• Bouncy chair
• Room thermometer
• Grobags (baby sleeping bags), invaluable in the heat. Also, stop baby kicking blankets off.
• Moses basket and bedding (4 flat sheets and a couple of top sheets and coverlet)
• Couple of toys! (we recommend Baby Einstein Take Along Tunes)
• Pram/pushchair
• Sun parasol
• Raincover (probably not necessary in San Diego)
• Car seat
• Sunscreens for car
• Baby carrier
• Changing bag
• Breast pads
• Steriliser ( needed for pump/bottles for expressed milk and dummies)
• Bottle brush
• Bottle and teats
• Breast pump
• Formula (have a couple of ready made cartons even if you plan to breastfeed)
• Muslins
• Bibs (if bottle feeding, plastic backed ones recommended to stop the milk soaking through to clothes)
• Infacol drops (for bringing up wind, they’re fine from birth and can be very useful)
• Baby wipes (Huggies Pure are very good)
• Baby shampoo
• Body wash
• Cotton wool pads
• Sudocrem
• Nappies
• Nappy sacks
• Nail clippers/scissors
• Bath thermometer
• Bath sponge
• Wash cloth
• Bath support
• Baby bath
• Brush and comb
• Bath towels
• Bodysuits
• Sleepsuits (go for ones with poppers and ones don't involve putting it over the head)
• Cardigan
• Socks
• Scratch mitts (many sleepsuits have in-built ones)
• Shawl/blanket
• Little rocker chair and activity mat also really useful.

Recommended books:

1. "Your Baby Week by Week" by Simone Cave, pretty much as it says on the tin. Obviously a bit UK-centric, talking about Child Benefit etc but also tells you stuff like how many nappies to expect per day. Nice little bitesize chunks per week.
2. "Baby's First Skills" by Dr Miriam Stoppard, activities you can do with baby to develop them based on their age.
3. The What To Expect website is also a fantastic resource, with a great online community, daily email service, and messageboard!

Diaper Tips:

-They are able to aim with surprising accuracy and will often pee as soon as you take off the nappy. Another bit of advice is to undo the tape, allow air to circulate and put lay nappy back on top for thirty secs to prevent that. Clothing with poppers at the crotch is easiest!

Additional Advice:

-Throwing up is a 'good' sign and entirely normal during the birth.
-Try putting the car seat in the car a few times before baby is born. Also, practise collapsing and putting up the buggy/pram.
-Also, you'll be surprised by how quickly they grow, don't go overboard with first sizes (newborn), they are only in them for a couple of weeks and some babies are too big straight away. Some babies from our group are already into 3-6 months, although they are between the ages of seven weeks and three months. You'll probably be gifted a lot in those sizes, I wish we hadn't bought more than a couple.
-The pushing phase of labour feels very much like you really need a poo. You may evacuate your bowels but that feeling is more about baby
-Birth plans are useful to go through what you would like (or not like) to happen, but very few people I know follow it to the letter
-Gas and air don't work for everyone; be prepared to be forceful enough to ask for next level of painkiller if necessary, before its too late!
-Newborn must be woken every two to three hours for a feed (and that's start to start of feed, so if baby starts feed at 2am, the next begins around 5am, regardless of how long the feed takes) Our baby slept through on our first night at home which I thought was good; turns out that in fact he was being lazy, not waking for a feed. He lost a lot of weight and was quite dehydrated. I thunk that phase passes after the first fortnight and they can go six hours overnight
-Most babies do lose a little bit of weight after they are born.
-If you are breastfeeding, I found the first three weeks really hard work, whether because it hurt or because baby wanted to feed what felt like all the time. It got infinitely easier after that and now it is so much more convenient.
-Always pack a spare pack of clothing in the baby's changing bag. They are going to poop/spew/have a leaky nappy if you don't!
-Have a support network. try to find other mums who have babies at the same sort of time, ie within a month or so of you. It helps to have other people you can benchmark against.
-That first two weeks was pretty nightmarish, baby didn't want to sleep in his Moses basket, would only sleep on me and didn't go to sleep much at night. IT DOES GET BETTER!! Persisting with a bedtime routine has helped, and not engaging with him for night feeds.
-Babies smell amazing when they come out!
-Prepare your meals the night before, or in the morning or when you get a chance, particularly if you are breastfeeding. You will end up being stuck on the couch for long stretches.
-Finally, sort of counter to all this advice, listen to what everyone has to say, smile and nod and then go your own way! You'll get so much conflicting advice, particularly around feeding which seems to be an area of contention and you'll know what works for your baby.
-All in all, make the most of all of the different things that happen, I know it's a cliche but it really does race by and baby will change so quickly! I can't believe how much I adore him

Right, I'd better go and pack that hospital bag!

The Basics Of Baby-Care

HW has several sisters who each have numerous children, so she's already witnessed a lot of childcare first-hand. Similary, I have two half-sisters who are a lot younger than I am (one was born when I was 11 years old, the other when I was 13) so I got to see them being raised, and helped out with a lot of the babycare. Nonetheless, we still thought it'd be useful to attend at least one parenting class, so last week HW and I went to our first (and only) class, at our hospital. It was a four hour intensive class, on the basics of baby-care.

They showed us how to change diapers, how to fold swaddling cloths, how to feed the baby, how to bathe it, and what to do if it gets sick. All the essential stuff.

Here are some notes I took during the class:

• If baby is being circumcised, check with insurance provider to see if this is covered (usually isn't)
• Don't use any lotions or product on the baby for at least the first two weeks
• The baby will get eye meds, vitamin K, and an umbilical cord clamp at the hospital
• "Tummy time" from 4 weeks onwards, but never unattended
• Always put baby down to sleep on its back, with nothing else in the crib
• Always make sure the crib has a firm mattress with tight-fitting sheets
• Use a Q-tip with hydrogen peroxide twice a day around the umbilical cord, to help it heal
• Sponge baths for the first two weeks at least
• Normal for the cord to 'ooze', but shouldn't be bloody
• Use warm water and a washclother for diaper changes
• Use receiving blankets as swaddling cloths
• Have a nasal aspirator close by, in case baby has any blocked sinuses or needs help breathing
• Baby should always be wearing one more layer than adults; including a hat at night
• Will start smiling at 3 weeks old
• Will get colic from around 4 weeks old
• Tub bathing is okay after the cord has healed
• "Brick dust" orange urine is normal in the first week; but after that it could signal dehydration

Medicine cabinet should contain:

• Q-tips, with rubbing alcohol or hydrogen peroxide
• Chemical-free detergent for washing babies clothes, towels, etc.
• Digital thermometer
• Cotton balls
• Washclothes and chemical-free wipes
• Desitin, in case of rash
• Soft-bristle hairbrush (can be very soothing for baby)
• Infant tylenol

In a 24-hour day, you can expect the following from a newborn:

• 2 to 3 hours of crying
• 16 to 17 hours of sleeping (sadly not consecutive!)
• Pooping 3 to 5 times a day
• Peeing around 8 times a day
• This means around 12 diaper changes a day; probably totaling around 1 hour
• Feeding every 2 hours; 15 minutes on each breast (10 to 12 times a day); totaling around 5 hours a day

Doesn't leave much time for anything else!

Anyway, the class was definitely useful, and we also got a magazine titled "The Joy Of Parenthood: Your Personal Journey Through Newborn Care", which contained lots of extra information. Specifically, there's a guide to infant CPR, which is obviously really important to know, in case of emergencies. Every parent should take some kind of class or have some kind of book which covers this, just in case!